Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
