how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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