you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
