We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ladies don't puke and tell
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
