Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
