I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize