I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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