doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
