I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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