just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize