And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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