How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
