my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
then he tried to convert me to islam
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Where are you guys?
Drunk
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
