i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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