I think i sorta joined a cult last night
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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