Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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