If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
