Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.