Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.

(407): View more from Florida

I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.

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(860): You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you. (407): I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige. http://tfl.nu/6i4m

Replies (1) Good night (1357) Bad night (411)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.

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(440): I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot. http://tfl.nu/w3xr

Replies (14) Good night (767) Bad night (2413)
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(972): View more from Texas

Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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(972): Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition. http://tfl.nu/d2b2

Replies (20) Good night (2432) Bad night (697)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You smell like stripper and shame

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(704): You smell like stripper and shame http://tfl.nu/7pqp

Replies (26) Good night (3057) Bad night (1048)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.

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(720): I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice. http://tfl.nu/dx9d

Replies (16) Good night (4188) Bad night (632)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.

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(720): I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch. http://tfl.nu/l2v2

Replies (23) Good night (5022) Bad night (626)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Haha did she know what fisting meant?

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself

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(734): Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that. (1-734): Haha did she know what fisting meant? (734): Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself http://tfl.nu/kykk

Replies (21) Good night (1291) Bad night (5299)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.

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(404): I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do. http://tfl.nu/0i65

Replies (13) Good night (6610) Bad night (1013)
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(765): View more from Indiana

He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.

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(765): He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something. http://tfl.nu/5hhc

Replies (16) Good night (4545) Bad night (1865)
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(410): View more from Maryland

The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer

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(410): The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer http://tfl.nu/0sxh

Replies (5) Good night (1472) Bad night (934)
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(205): View more from Alabama

...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.

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(205): ...i'd have to set their sheets on fire. http://tfl.nu/qae8

Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (527)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.

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(412): I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised. http://tfl.nu/nqg7

Replies (9) Good night (1904) Bad night (939)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass

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(336): I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass http://tfl.nu/ok5m

Replies (2) Good night (313) Bad night (910)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.

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(781): not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that. http://tfl.nu/qu2b

Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (221)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.

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(740): Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober. http://tfl.nu/5nza

Replies (2) Good night (234) Bad night (428)

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