garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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