Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.

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(845): At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare. http://tfl.nu/jdv9

Replies (21) Good night (755) Bad night (1928)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes

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(908): But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes http://tfl.nu/c86w

Replies (24) Good night (3467) Bad night (750)
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(519): View more from Ontario

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap

Replies (841) Good night (144840) Bad night (10214)
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(805): View more from California

just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.

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(805): just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you. http://tfl.nu/8wpn

Replies (7) Good night (1228) Bad night (3449)
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(450): View more from Quebec

I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...

(450): View more from Quebec

On that note, do I have a rule?

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(450): I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc... (450): On that note, do I have a rule? http://tfl.nu/u1td

Replies (15) Good night (4905) Bad night (1184)
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(516): View more from New York

I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?

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(516): I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you? http://tfl.nu/jwce

Replies (6) Good night (2840) Bad night (949)
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(979): View more from Texas

How sober do you have to be to donate blood?

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(979): How sober do you have to be to donate blood? http://tfl.nu/9d8c

Replies (9) Good night (3635) Bad night (1213)
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(925): View more from California

if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars

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(925): if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars http://tfl.nu/yl19

Replies (16) Good night (5252) Bad night (1353)
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(407): View more from Florida

Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off

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(407): Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off http://tfl.nu/jc13

Replies (13) Good night (998) Bad night (3928)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

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(989): I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it. http://tfl.nu/prf6

Replies (14) Good night (5152) Bad night (1080)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.

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(734): I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/i9iy

Replies (3) Good night (1498) Bad night (777)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!

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(479): I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning! http://tfl.nu/musz

Replies (12) Good night (1654) Bad night (637)
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(214): View more from Texas

I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"

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(214): I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy" http://tfl.nu/b3zm

Replies (3) Good night (1006) Bad night (1019)
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(707): View more from California

Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.

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(707): Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready. http://tfl.nu/moy8

Replies (13) Good night (1616) Bad night (757)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

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(225): I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life http://tfl.nu/dl7i

Replies (1) Good night (921) Bad night (355)

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