Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.