Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
