I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
