Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
