That's intense
You can't special order awesome
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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