yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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