As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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