Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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