brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
