To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
