Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
