That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
