....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize