i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
