We won't sleep together?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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