im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
