you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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