took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
