Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
