k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You ruined the universe
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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