Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
