beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
