Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize