You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
