Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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