We're like a lot better than the average bears
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
