I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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