first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
