i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
