my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
