had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
