No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
