drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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