Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
