Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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