My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
