If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It was confusing and full of hummus
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
