your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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