I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
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Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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