As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
