then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
