May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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