We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
