His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
