He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
