we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
