Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
