I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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