We're like a lot better than the average bears
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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