You just made me feel so damn special
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
