what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize