Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Are we still banned from the library?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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