curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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